Stag partying sucks!

Well, whatta way to start newyear! with a rant ofcourse!For me newyear's eve meant another excuse to get drunk and party at friend's place. No big deal i say, it's just a friggin number change in our calendar! As usual, for this year too i thought my friends and me will go through the usual drill of boozing at my friend's place.But no! my fiends had a brilliant idea, they wanted to go to one of those newyear parties organised by pubs. Now as most of you know, these parties are strictly for couples only. In our case, we were the much hated stags!

I knew this wasn't gonna take off, so i tried to talk some sense in to my friends and told them let's stick to our routine drill, instead of ending up embarassing ourselves outside the pub. They suddenly seemed have been stuck by optimistic streak, they won't hear any of my words, my friend had a "contact" in one of the pubs and since he's a regular there, we can be assured of an "Entry" inspite of being stags. Well, i gave up, anyway i had informed folks at home that i was going out, so i had to go through their plans.

We all caged up and next thing we know we are stuck in bumper to bumper traffic in sankey road. It was already 8pm and traffic was horrible, just when i thought things couldn't get worse, bang! what was that!My overenthusiastic friend had banged his Ikon in to the rear end of a Getz! Geez! there goes my new year party money i thought! thankfully both the drivers got out of their vehicles to inspect the damage and both stared at each other and walked back to their cars! i was surprised! turns out there was no visible damage! Newyear spirit or was the other driver in spirits? well whatever, i just wanted to get off there and soon we were parking in the pub.

My friend neatly goes up to bouncer and says something, next thing i know, it was the usual stuff. The bouncer shaking his head and focusing else where, my friend trying to maintain his composure and false sense of pride and i can see him literally pleading with him! I had enough, i just wanted to go back to his place so we could get back to our routine drill. But no, these chaps won't have any of it, they wanted to get in by hook or crook! Then my friend's "contact" shows up, silver lining? But even his words to bouncers are met with cold stares. They way the bouncers would look at us made me feel ashamed, they would look at us as if we were street urchins! Then somehow after some time, They let my friend in and my other friend and me were left standing outside!

I thought that was it, we had to take a rick back to his place, while this guy who got in is gonna be partying. Then after about 15 mins, my friend came out and took us in, not before we coughed up the usual fee, yeah, we had to fork out for "couple" entry tickets, inspite of being stags. I paid and told myself, now that i've blown my money, i better enjoy it! :P
We are met with a chap who had laid out welcome drink, now what the fuck was that? Well, it turned out to be small glass or rather the ones you take it as a shot (bottoms up!) They had choice of wine or vodka. Me being totally allergic to wine, i took vodka. I mistook the vodka to be mixed, how wrong i was! Freaks had kept raw vodka and i took it bottoms up!

Welcome to hell! My insides started to burn, i felt like a raging fire was burning inside me, i wanted water, but no, they didn't have water, we were told to get in to the pub. We got it. I was still searching for water, but finally resigned to my fate that there was no water available immediately, so i lit up a cig.
Hmm, now after the initiation ceremony, things started to clear up, the cig did help, i was slightly in trance state :P I hadn't had dinner either and the vodka +cig combo didn't do any good. I was surveying my surroundings, Gawd! was i really there? there were just too many chicks around, outnumbering guys infact!
It was like each guy had come with two chicks! and there we were, 3 stags all oogling like a kid at a candy store!:P

The hunger pans started, it was already 10pm. So i asked for the menu and there was the real horror! all prices jacked up! courtesy of newyear's eve! I was literally searching for something that costed below three digits in rupees, but no, they all were in 3 digits, resigned to my fate, i didn't want to ruin this with my miserliness after having forked out the entry fee! My friends neatly proclaimed that they had emptied their valets for the entry fee, so the party was on me! Heck, this was just too much and i wanted to just get through the damn newyear party. Then we ordered for couple of over priced beers and over priced chicken and other over priced dishes. As soon as i got my hands on beer and food, i gobbled up and drank to my heart's content. After satisfying my hunger pangs, i started surveying the surroundings again.

The atmosphere was cool, Dimlights, candle lights on tables, open air dance floor with dj playing some good numbers and beautiful skimpily clad drunk chicks shaking their stuff all around! Now, i was having fun :P My friends wanted to shake their leg in the dance floor and try to hit with one of the pretty young things, while i was happy just gazing around. I settled down near the dance floor with my beer and snacks while my friends were making fools out of themselves with their ridiculous "look at me" kind of dance steps :P I wanted to just fade in to the crowd and didn't want to be associated with these fanatics dancing like idiots!

Then, i spent somemore time observing people around, apart from chicks, i notice a couple, they had their hardly 6 month old baby in their arms and these two were dancing away to glory, while the baby was trying to sleep! Poor thing, it was being made to go through this jig just coz it's parents wanted to party! There was a chap sitting next to me and he was smoking, next thing i know, the smoke coming from him reeks of very icky smell, turns out this guy is doping! with in few minutes, the same smoke starts everyone, it looks like iam in some joint heaven!
Then there were a group of 5 guys, all dressed in white blazers and white pants (!!) but they had a very attractive skimpily clad chick with them. All 6 were blown and were high on dope, the girl was really shaking her stuff, that too right in front of me! These guys used to take turns in dancing with her and when they got tired, they used to sit next to my table and dope. But girl really had lots of energy, she just didn't care who was dancing with her and it was free for all!

It was like watching one of those B grade films, that too live! i was the director :P or so i felt. Meanwhile, the two dancing idiots (my friends) had gone in to the crowd and got lost for sometime. Then suddenly they came back, thoroughly exhausted. Their animated conversation followed and it was the usual story, how close they got a chick and when they were almost gonna hit on her, she lost interest or her guy came in and such stuff. Well, i was feeling miserable, firstly, i didn't want to witness this free for all show, secondly, i was getting ripped off for being there and thirdly, i was not enjoying it! Well, it was another 10 more mins to go for the clock to hit 12, so i knew that my ordeal would end soon.

Predictably, the clock stuck 12, with a count down and with fireworks. People suddenly had energitic boost and they all started to howl and cat calls and cries filled the air, greeting each other. Couples smooching each other etc...
Ok, it was done and i wanted to get out, 20 mins past 12, i dragged my friends out of there and we started our drive back to my friend's place in his cage, i was smoking in back seat and watched as both my friends started their animated conversation of how good the party was and how the chicks were happening etc.

We reached his place and had food. As i hit the bed, i decided, in future, if at all iam going to any goddamn newyear party, which is couple's only, i would go there only if had a member of female species for my company, definitely not as a stag! no matter how much my friends force me. I would rather reach home early from work and watch tv, than go through the embarassment as a stag in a couples only party!

Happy new year!